The Backyard Gardener’s Lament

By Barolong Seboni

The boss is my shepherd
And he does not want nonsonso!
I am his herdboy and backyard gardener
And car washer and gravedigger
Whenever there is a funeral.
He makes me lie all the time
About pastures green
When in fact no rain has been seen
For the past few weeks,
Perhaps he needs more money for backyard gardening.
He also teaches me to turn the other cheek,
And I lie to the taxman about the number of cattle he owns,
For he knows the cattle post is my only home.

He leadeth me besides still waters
Where his cattle, goats, horses and I drink
I love it here because I have all the time to think.
When the cattle stray,
He leadeth me back onto the path of righteousness with his rod and staff
Which fall heavily upon my head
Until I cry and scream, “Enough! Enough!”

I preparest a table for him when he comes
Then I drink chibuku and eat the crumbs.
He anointest the borehole with oil
And because of all my hard toil
The dam runneth over and the cattle are fed
And all his livestock are fat and well bred
And will fetch high prices at the BMC
For which, if all was fair, some commission
Should really be due to poor old me.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
Because I walk through the shadow of the valley of death
And I hold my breath
Driving and herding the stock to Lobatse
Through the forests of lions and cattle thieves,
I try to fear no evil in the presence of enemies
As I pray to my boss, who is my shepherd
And I am his true and honest gardener and herdboy
Who will dwell in his backyard garden forever
Without complaint, malice and without joy.

---

This piece is featured in the book Nitty Gritty: The Book of Meanings by Barolong Seboni, a compilation of stories from the beloved Nitty Gritty column in Mmegi.

Find out how to get your copy here.